Thursday, February 29, 2024

How Nine Inch Nails Taught me of Love and Loss, and Why I'll Never Love (Music) Again (Maybe Music...)

I tend to think a few people, perhaps besides myself may in some way feel similar but it sometimes is hard to let go to experiences and sounds, music and feelings, from the era of romanticized substance abuse, serious self digging and inner exploration and attempt to relate personally from a young age to the aesthetic and vibes of the somewhat goth but universally well read psyche's of artists I found integral to growing up, understanding and recognizing people in pain and my own pain, and to mention a few swiftly, I mean: NIN, Tool, Type O Negative, The Crow Soundtrack altogether, the Crow movie, Adam Jones claymation, The overall feeling and experience of the Fragile two cd set from NIN, encapsulates what I'm trying to detail here best, but Aenima, The Perfect Drug music video, The Crow film and mystical insights of Vertigo comics, mostly based around ritual magick, nature based magic, demonology, psychedelic experiences, mythology, dreams, vampires, elves, the universal parables availible from Neil Gaiman, Warren Ellis, Jamie Delaino, Alan Moore, Grant Morrison, and not a Vertigo project; but Hellboy and the Maxx, even the animated Aeon Flux, and MTV's animated series' would prophecy the later world changing, adult swim aesthetic. The art of these aspects of the feelings and ideas running loose through the 90's provided a interesting emotional backdrop for a kid who felt like Pete and Pete, Alex Mack, and the X-Men felt more real than class at school, news about Desert Storm, tragedies in Cosovo, or what I could peiece together as a very small child about Jean Benee Ramsey. Today it's clear some of these energies survive in the minds of those who were there to experience all this, Chelsea Wolfe, the backrooms, and 80's aesthetic are all elements that seem like they simply persevered after these 90's elements receded and PC horror point and click game aesthetic would be immortalized in the memory of gamers and fans of popular media as some music videos will survive in the memory of many who had no distracting phone apps and only a passion for the friendly mind virus that was MTV. One of the only sources for watching a prolific Maynard James Keenan interview or a moment of Trent discussing his process. Later Much Music channel would ccontinue this with Tool, Type-O and other acts. One of the other great bands to transcend that era and revolutionize their corner of sound deemed no wave, Michael Gira and Jarboe collaborate in haunting the listener for life, in the Swans. This was a kind of bottom of the barrel cherished extreme for me, allowing me to fill out a mental musical chart with Swans on one side, PJ Harvey, Prodigy, Primus, and Tricky all taking their place somewhere on a spectrum which expanded greatly as I took a deep interest in the Mars Volta, Zepp, Radiohead, and random classic music such as Fleetwood Mac, allowing for a filing process of many bands in between and a better understanding of the contrast between all these. Eventually this would amoung a backdrop of countless metal acts, the depths of hip hop, rap and R and B, ambient masterpieces and the masterminds who engineer such, make that group of 90's moody bands seem that much more on a shelf of their own, somehow closely following the rules of what 90's music and emotions actually felt like. I don't think their will ever be another NIN or Type O, and this is a great thing. Step back into the time capsule of this very specific aesthetic once again and experience it for yourself again. Too much to ask? At least try the new Wolfe and see how you FEEL. How much inner work does modern music ask of us? Do we go somewhere mentally from hearing such? Can we relate more to deep personal emotional frequencies or disposable marketable popular "everyone party" "everyone is supposedly having so much fun" "buy more now stupid" themed songs? “I did this full-on ritual where I set up a circle of pedals, stayed inside of it and wrote a bunch of demos”